The Most Wonderful Day EVER!

So I haven't posted in forever, because my life has been pretty much insane lately. I finished off my first year of college, finished working at Smartstyle, moved to Provo, and saw Sunshine again for the first time in 6 months. And all that happened in a week. Talk about exhausting. So I have spent the last few days sitting on the couch in my apartment watching TV. The last time I sat on the couch for more than ten minutes was when I was 9 months pregnant- and pretty much couldn't do anything except sit on a couch.
My whole family came up from Texas with me to move me in and see Sunshine. Now, in the LDS church, when families are married or sealed in one of our temples by the proper authority, we believe that they are together as a family in heaven after they die also. In most cases, once parents or families are sealed together, the children born to them afterward are automatically sealed. Well, in adoptive families, since the children are not born to the parents, they have to be individually sealed to the parents once the adoption is finalized. Jared and Amy were so wonderful and invited my parents to come to Sunshine's sealing to them. So we arrived at the temple just a little while before Jared  and Amy and I had the opportunity to see Sunshine before they went into the Temple.
It was so surreal, seeing her again in real life for the first time. It took a few minutes to sink in, and I just stood and looked at her for a few minutes, trying to believe she was really the baby I gave birth to. She was sleeping in her carseat, and i just touched her face just barely and she spit out her pacifier and gave me a half asleep little smile. And thats when I started bawling. I was so happy to see her again. It wasn't hard, or sad, or painful in any way for me. I was just happy. So happy that she was happy, and her family was happy, and I was happy. I told her I loved her, and then her family went into the temple to be sealed.
My sisters and brother and I just walked around the temple grounds for the next hour and a half or so and then we went back to Jared and Amy's for Sunshine's blessing and lunch. I was finally able to meet a bunch of Sunshine's family and friends that Jared and Amy had always talked about. I was really nervous and self-concious about meeting all these people. A concern that I have as a birthmother is people thinking I want Sunshine back. That is the furthest thing from the truth. I love her more than anything, but I also have a firm tstimony that she is Jared and Amy's daughter. So, much of the time I was concerned about not coming off like I was trying to intrude on their family.
Eventually most everyone left, but Jared and Amy had invited us to stay a little later and I was able to give Sunshine her first haircut! She was born with alot of hair, and it had grown like crazy for the last 6 months. It was such a fun experience. So many birthmoms are sad about losing out on experiences like that, and I appreciate so much how Jared and Amy involve me in Sunshine's life. They don't have to, and I would understand if they didn't, but they still do. And now Sunshine looks alot less scruffy, now that all the random long hairs are trimmed back!!!
My family and I got to play with Sunshine for a good couple of hours, and it was so wonderful! She is just the happiest, silliest, little girl. She is soooo ticklish and has the cutest smile. Anytime someone had a necklace on, she would grab it and try to eat it. She loves her big brother so much! It was so funny anytime he was around or you could hear his voice she would look for him, it was the sweetest thing! Sometimes, when she was sitting on one of our laps, she would throw herself backwards, and then sit up and then throw herself backwards again and giggle. It was such a long day for her, and she got very overly tired, but didn't want to stop playing! I took her up to her room and tried to rock her, but she just got really mad, so I laid her in her crib and sat down in the rocking chair. She screamed for another thirty seconds or so and then calmed down and rolled over. She just looked at me for a couple of minutes and I talked to her for a little bit. Then she laid her head down and was asleep in just a few seconds. To her, I was probably just another person tickling her and playing with her, but to me she was the world for those few hours.
We stuck around for a little bit longer, and just talked while my little brother and Sunshine's brother played, and then we said our goodbyes and left. It wasn't a sad goodbye or anything, because I know I will see them again, especially now that I live less than 2 hours away!
Seeing Sunshine again was pretty much the highlight of this week though, it was awesome. I was so suprised at how okay I was with it! I was so unsure of how I would feel. But I felt wonderful and happy and completely assured that I made the right decision  in placing her for adoption. She has everything I would have ever wanted to give her and more. I love her and her family so much, and I hope they all know it! And I hope they all know I am so greatful for everything they have done for her and me and my family.

 I think this picture is adorable!

 Her family after the sealing :)

First haircut!