2011: I have woven a parachute out of everything broken.

One year ago, my life as I now know it began. One year ago, I was immature and selfish. I had a very low self esteem, and found myself looking for personal confirmation from other people - mostly boys. I couldn't think for myself and I let the world push me around, and tell me who I should be. In this last year, I have had more challenges and blessings, heartbreak and love, desperation and faith, than I have in all the years before it....combined. In that year, I accomplished so many things, big and small. I graduated high school, got my Cosmetology license, worked, went to college, made friends (and enemies), did everything I set my mind to. But those things aren't the things that make 2011 stand above all other years.

One year ago, today, Sunshine's birthfather and I started dating. Exactly one year ago. That's when it all started going downhill, and only a few months later I found myself pregnant. I never imagined it would happen to me, but it did. And with him! Sometimes I've wondered, "Why him? Why not a guy that I could have married and raised my baby?" but then I remember that if he had been the kind I could have married, Jared and Amy would have never gotten Sunshine. Consequently, I embarked along the difficult path of placing my baby for adoption. I didn't think I could do it in the beginning. I was absolutely terrified. I thought it was impossible for me to have that kind of strength. I didn't think I had it in me to make that kind of choice, go through with it, and survive emotionally and spiritually. But I was wrong.

I made that choice, went through with it, and stand here today as a significantly different person than I was a year ago. I did something that I deemed impossible for me. And I came out of it stronger, smarter, and happier than I ever could have imagined. Today I can look back on the last year and say I am honestly proud of myself for who I have become and the changes I made in my life. Today I can look back and say I know I did the right thing and I can continue on this path in my life. I've learned to love in a whole new way, and grown closer to my Heavenly Father and Christ. I learned who my real friends were and made new ones too. I discovered that I am capable of anything as long as I have my Heavenly Father there by my side. I learned to never lose hope or faith, and trust in God's timing. In a year, my whole life has fallen apart and rebuilt itself into something amazing.

So, I begin 2012 a whole new person, dedicated to God and my future. Dedicated to improving more than I already have and accomplishing more than I did in 2011. Who knows where I will find myself a year from now?